All this working out and just flat working gets me thinking too ... I think of the epistolary injunction to "work out your salvation with fear and trembling." But wait, didn't that kinda get taken care of before we showed up here, before I ever had any of the million billion fears that beset us all? So why am I "working it out"?
Perhaps ... perhaps we must know down to our sinew and bone what it is to lose, to fail, to be capable of no more - lest we take lightly the next breath we have, the next movement we freely make, the next word we blithely speak into existence. None of it is quite so easy, light and meaningless as we may be led to believe. It matters.
But am I talking about eating? About fitness? About work? Or about the stuff of everyday life? Well, yes. All of it. I forgot how much these choices and daily decisions mean, what difference they make in the trajectory of one's hours, day, week, year, life ... in forgetting, I lost that inner authority. Now I have to work it back in. *sigh* or maybe this is just what I get for having read too much Kierkegaard and Camus all these years :-D!
No comments:
Post a Comment