Am I pushing? Am I really "trying too hard?" Am I "driven," and is that such a bad thing? I wish I knew. This must be where the "use of self" gets really thorny ... ok. Yeah. Hi, I'm me, and I'll be the midwife of your psyche for the next 45 minutes. How can that not be intimidating? I love the maieutic aspect of being a social worker, and it scares the crap out of me. I've been hearing that I must learn to be comfortable with and accept ambiguity, equanimity, the now and the not yet ... what does that really look like when I'm standing in front of, or sitting with, a bunch of folks whose tools for living are spread out on the table or floor in front of all of us, rusting, rotting, or broken, and I have the job of believing - and just maybe, on a good day, helping them to believe - that those tools can be repaired or replaced, that they can and will rebuild lives worth living, lives in which they just maybe could again love and work. Darnit, there I go being hopeful again!
"The Jesus of my journey will never say to me ... 'You were too reckless, you confided in Me too much, you trusted beyond reasonable limits, you hoped too much of Me. You should only have played with My word, 'Have confidence in Me,' rather than foolishly acting it out."
-Brennan Manning, Lion and Lamb
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